-
lies and smiles
…What have I eaten?
Lies and smiles.
Surely the sky is not that color,
Surely the grass should be rippling.All day, gluing my church of burnt matchsticks,
I dream of someone else entirely.
And he, for this subversion,
Hurts me, he
With his armor of fakery,His high cold masks of amnesia.
How did I get here?
Indeterminate criminal,
I die with variety—
Hung, starved, burned, hooked.I imagine him
Impotent as distant thunder,
In whose shadow I have eaten my ghost ration.
I wish him dead or away.
That, it seems, is the impossibility.That being free. What would the dark
~sylvia plath, excerpt from “the jailer”
Do without fevers to eat?
What would the light
Do without eyes to knife, what would he
Do, do, do without me?
©lotuscarroll2019
Image All Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license. For licensing inquiries, email me directly. [email protected] -
she.leans.in.
soft breezes blow; her memories stir
she reflects on lies
that sounded like love
the evil seed of deception grew a towering tree
he thought that it would fruit
to feed only him
but wickedness does not equal wisdom
the tree is now her strength
and has grown in his absence
she is stretching her branches to shelter many others
as a storm marches in
her deep, strong roots take hold and
she.leans.in.
-
Darkness, Light… and Human Development
I have the gift of being able to capture my son’s life, and his essence, in images – already I look back through them and marvel at what happens when passion, love, skill, and an observing heart & mind come together. I can see his life unfolding and see his different personality traits emerge as I look through this growing archive. It blows my heart and mind.
Talk about bittersweet. Can’t stop, won’t stop.
Braden, Age 7, September 2014 By the time I recognize this moment this moment will be gone, but I will bend the light, pretending that it somehow lingered on.
~John Mayer, Clarity*****
© Lotus Carroll, All Rights Reserved
To license commercially, please email. -
In These Quiet Moments Love Speaks Loudest
it is in these quiet moments that love speaks loudest My little 3 person family took a few trips to the beach last summer. On one of those trips we drove almost all the way there and then stopped in a hotel for the night before heading out for beach frolicking fun the next morning. This is a candid monochrome from that hotel. John is looking over at Braden, our (then) 6 year old, in the other bed. His expression speaks volumes. I love moments like this. Capturing them feels like being able to work real magic, the kind that will allow you to travel through time later, or the kind that lets you see inside of someone’s heart.
All Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license. For licensing inquiries, email me directly. [email protected]
-
All That’s Left Undone
Eyes that are gray
Can’t see behind the stains
Of blurring stars
And bleeding sunI wish I could stay
Or silence the rain
The solid bars
Of all that’s left undoneImage All Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license. For licensing inquiries, email me directly. [email protected]
-
52 Self Portrait Project: 37
I must get my soul back from you; I am killing my flesh without it.
~Sylvia Plath
Image All Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license. For licensing inquiries, email me directly. [email protected] -
the snow slowly began to fill the grave he’d dug
